Season upon season, one qualifying campaign after another, the senior England national team are drawn in a group with a country labelled as the resident “whipping boys” – so why can’t we ever seem to do a demolition job? The Germans, for example, are well drilled in this task, seemingly pulverising any side placed in the bottom ten per cent of the FIFA World Rankings. Even though it appears that England seem a far more positive and hungry outfit under Roy Hodgson, I would rest far more easily should I be confident that England could sweep part-time nations aside with relative comfort on a regular basis.
The
Moldova’s, Andorra’s and San Marino’s of this world compete heroically against
the exceedingly well paid superstars of Spain, France and Brazil et al. They
will of course be routinely beaten – and beaten well – when the bus that they
have parked eventually gets a puncture. So why then, when England are ranked so
highly in world football, do we never seem able to put seven or eight goals
past sides that are no more able than a part time team from the non-league? In
fact, among the opponents walking out at Wembley tonight were bank clerks and teachers
– most likely earning in a year what Wayne Rooney earns just lacing up his
boots for training.
I
have to admit here that I took the gamble of beginning this article on around
the thirty minute mark, with the score at 0-0, but it turns out that I haven’t,
unfortunately, been proven wrong by the Three Lions. Andy Townsend pretty much
summed up my thoughts in his commentary on 59 minutes: “You have to wonder, if this was a Spain, if this was a German; how many would they be knocking past [San
Marino]?” There seems to be a latent inability to completely and efficiently
dominate smaller sides where a game such as this should be done and dusted by
half time. Despite the absolutely dominant statistics collected over the course of the game paint a convincing picture, actually watching the game makes for a supremely frustrating hour and a half. Score
lines such as that enjoyed by the Germans six years ago would make for far
more pride-laden reading tomorrow morning, with Rooney or Welbeck “doing a
Podolski” and grabbing four or five goals each.
As
it stands, both Rooney and Welbeck have scored a brace a piece on 70 minutes –
is it wrong of me, or any England fan, to think that this is insufficient
against a team ranked 202 places below them? The Ox has just scored his first
England goal on 76 minutes, by the way – a beautifully curled effort into the
top right of the goal. Yet still I feel fairly unimpressed with what has been a fairly
flat affair – 5-0 up or not.
Not known for his love of all things England, Roy Keane took only six or seven seconds to sum up England's performance at half time - suffice to say it wasn't exactly positive. I must concede, however, I do not very much like joining in with the brigade of fans that refuse to say anything remotely positive about the national side. With that, it must be observed that the starting line up was wholly inexperienced at international level and not so used to playing together. They have spent 90+ minutes trying to break through a frustrating blue wall of 10 players who, as Keane described, were "so short technically", and a 5-0 win in any event puts us top of the group with a little help from Moldova.
It's another job done, however, so perhaps I should stop being so picky over the details. Still, it would be nice if we could hit double figures where we occasionally have the opportunity...
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